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June 19, 2005 GIVE ‘EM THE HEATER! Click here.

What an interesting week it has been. On Tuesday, I found myself in the unique situation of doing standup comedy in an outdoor stadium that holds four thousand people.

Let me explain.

I traveled to Rancho Cucamonga (yes, readers outside of California, it is indeed a real place) to perform before and during a minor league baseball game between the hometown Cucamonga Quakes vs. the Modesto Nuts at pun-saturated Epicenter Stadium. The place was pretty much empty as I performed my first set about a half hour before game time. It’s moments like these, when it appears that no one is listening that you truly know that you were born to be a standup comedian. I realize that my perseverance paid off, as many people came up and told me that they were laughing at my jokes while hearing them over the P.A. in the parking lot as they were pulling in. Always give it your best, you never know who’s listening.

The big highlight of the night was that I got to throw out the ceremonial first pitch. It didn’t matter to me that no one in the crowd had any idea who I was, this was my shining moment.

As you can see in the video, I did give it a little comedic flair, but I delivered the goods. I brought some heat on that pitch! For baseball fans, I did the fake pickoff move to 3rd , then back to 1st base. It’s a move that has never worked in the history of baseball which is why I chose to do it on my first pitch. I then worked from the stretch, bringing my hands down in a herky, jerky motion which was my homage to Luis Tiant. I was big fan of his during his time with the Yankees. I then brought the heat, as “Tremor” the quakes mascot gave me the punchout signal! It’s amazing how much I can over-describe an event.

After the first pitch, I did a short couple of minutes in the vacant visitors section. The evening ended on a high note as I worked the Quake fans into a frenzy in the middle of the 4th inning. Nothing motivates you to lose a few pounds more than seeing yourself on a stadium Jumbo-Tron. All in all, it was a pretty cool experience, I almost felt famous!

Speaking of Quakes…. Many of my friends on the east coast were quick to point out that we had two earthquakes in California this week. The first was too far north to be felt, the 2nd was actually felt by Kimmy even though I felt nothing while I was in the shower. Earthquakes are no picnic but neither are ice-scrapers. Fear of earthquakes isn’t enough to make me move back to New York. The most important thing to me is that it’s 71 degrees and sunny today, just like it has been every day for the last two years.

A few weird things happened this week:

1. I actually got a tan

2. We bought 4 margarita glasses from comedian Doug Stanhope’s yard sale a few blocks from our house.

The baseball game was just the beginning of a fantastic week as I got to work with Jake Johannsen and Jimmy Dore at The Improv in Irvine for 8 shows. Even though my spellcheck is telling me that I spelled both their names wrong, I know I got them right. Why does it say that I spelled “spellcheck” wrong. I’m an idiot.

XM satellite radio has been playing different clips from my CD lately. On Sunday, I had my “That Thing You Do” moment, when I actually heard myself on the radio. It seems silly but it was a neat little milestone in my career. I took a picture for posterity.

Thanks For Reading,

Paul Morrissey