Archive

August 15, 2006- On my birthday, I performed with Don Ho in Hawaii!!!!

No, I’m not making this up. It was by far one of the most memorable birthdays ever.  I got to perform on “The Don Ho Show” at the famous Waikiki Beachcomber Hotel with the legendary Don Ho!!  My trip to Hawaii has been planned for awhile but I wasn’t sure if I was actually going to perform on the show until….well… Don Ho called my name during the middle of it.

            For those of you who don’t know who Don Ho is… he’s basically the symbol for Hawaii in showbusiness.  He’s been on every show from “The Brady Bunch” to "Johnny Carson","Conan O'Brien"-to any other TV show that’s ever done a “gone to Hawaii” episode.  Some people call him the “Hawaiian Elvis” or the “Hawaiian Dean Martin”…. he’s got some ingredients of those two, but he’s an original.  He’s the symbol of cool-Hawaiian style.   In fact, here’s a picture of him performing with Elvis Presley back in the day.  He’s been doing “The Don Ho” for most of his 45 years in showbusiness. It was a huge thrill just to be in the audience and see the legend himself. So here’s how it went down.

            Through a friend, I got a seat at the “reserved” table which made me feel pretty cool.  I think Don’s “people” informed him that I was a comedian who had recently been on TV.  So about halfway through the show, I’m just watching from my seat.  Don had brought up a few performers to sing with him, and was cracking jokes left and right…really funny, self-deprecating stuff. And right as he begins singing he says…”Can Paul Morrissey come up here while I’m singing this song?” My jaw dropped. I couldn’t believe it. I got up and walked over to one of the ushers and said,”What do I do?”

“Did he call your name?” he asked.

“I think so,” I said.

“So just go up there.”

As Don Ho is singing, I make my way to the stage and sit down at the stool next to him. It was surreal.  Someone from the edge of the stage hands me a microphone.   Don begins to speak,”This is Paul Morrissey, a very funny comedian.  I understand he’s done some TV shows and he’s a big hit.  So Paul, are you performing any comedy shows in Hawaii?”  Without much thought I said,”Just this one.”  It got a huge laugh and applause. Don took it the right way, and made a joke of his own and got a laugh. Then he said,”Well, would you perform a few minutes for us?” I said,”Sure!”  So with Don Ho sitting onstage, I got to perform for his audience. My set went really well, the crowd was great. At the end, I turned to Don and said,”Thanks , this was a huge thrill for me!” Don gave me a fist-pound, then I walked back to my seat to a big applause.  About 20 minutes later after another song, Don said,”I’m sure that Paul Morrissey performs for a lot of college kids and younger audiences but I’m glad I got to see him tonight, I thought he was really funny.” The audience gave another round of applause. I was beside myself. What a cool birthday! Sharing the stage with Don Ho in Hawaii!  I got this picture taken with him outside the showroom, he signed it for me afterwards when he found out it was my birthday. He just celebrated his 76th birthday just a few days later.  Hopefully, I can make it back to Hawaii soon, and do it again sometime!

 July 3, 2006-  ON THE ROAD AGAIN….with Screetch!!

My first television appearance on “The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” had just aired on CBS.  Now, it was back on the road- to San Francisco, where I was the feature act for Dustin Diamond, who you might know as Screetch from the TV show “Saved By The Bell.”   Some comedians look down at TV personalities and actors for trying to do standup but…. the fact is that they bring people to the comedy clubs.  There are some great comedians who can’t fill a club outside of LA or NYC, which doesn’t seem fair, but that’s showbusiness.  Dustin pulled in great crowds all week, they were the biggest audiences I’d ever performed for at this particular club.  I got along great with Dustin, who was very nice to me and my wife.  I was just happy that I would be playing to a sold out crowd on a Thursday night and mostly sold out the entire weekend because of him.  It was a strange fan base though.  The audiences were all there to see Screetch.  I really had to win the crowd over every night, which was a neat challenge to me as a performer.  It’s really satisfying as a comedian, when a crowd doesn’t even want to give you a chance, and twenty minutes later are laughing their asses off.    So I had to do that every show, which kept me honest, knowing I had to earn my laughs. I was able to win them over every show, which gave me a lot of confidence.   So all in all, it was a fun week.

My good buddy Steve Mazan was working at the club up the street and tagged along for the ride back to L.A.  A comic’s life is driving endless miles, stopping at late night burger joints and obscure quickie marts in the middle of nowhere. We stopped at this one, and luckily us- they were having a “Straw Hat Extravaganza!!” and the also had “Sandals Galore.” What else could you ask for at 3a.m besides sandals and a straw hat?  

June 25, 2006-    My appearance on “The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson.”

I had been home for a week, with no shows. I was a little depressed. It was Monday, and I was excited that I would be screening my short film,”Just Gym Teachers” at The Improv in Irvine.  I was also going to perform my showcase set (5 minute set to perform on TV), which I had been working on for most of this year.  Because it was Monday, I didn’t have high expectations for the crowd, but to my surprise, they were awesome!  I performed my showcase set and the response was great! I felt like I had finally finished it.  My set was ready.  

Kimmy and I left the club and drove south.  We would be staying in San Diego for the next few days.  I stayed up late, editing and writing on the computer.  I slept in, and it was past ten when I noticed there was a message on my cellphone, it was a call from “The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson.” The message said, “I was wondering if you were in town this week. We have a spot open tomorrow for Friday air.” My eyes widened. My first TV appearance was here.  No more practicing this set over and over.  It was time.  I felt ready.  I called back and it was true. They would be taping my performance tomorrow evening and it would air on Friday.  Okay, so now what?

Well, I had to get back to L.A.,….  that was the first order of business.  As I drove back I called some LA comedy clubs to see if I could perform that night to run through my set one more time.  Luckily, they were taping an episode of “Live at The Improv” in Brea, that night.  They had one spot open and were nice enough to give it to me.  The show was great, my set went really well…the only problem,  it was too long.  I was going to have to drop a joke. I ran though the set a few more times in front of Kimmy at home that night.   I wanted to make sure every word was necessary.  I ended up dropping a few lines from my pale joke, just to make sure I wouldn’t go long. After a few minor changes, I went to bed.  Surprisingly, I actually got a good night sleep.

It’s always strange when you get a big opportunity. Part of me felt really appreciative and lucky for this chance.  I realize that only a very small percentage of comedians get an opportunity to perform on network TV.  If it were baseball, it’s the equivalent of being called up from the minors to the Big Leagues.  In fact, minor league ballplayers call the big leagues “The Show.”  

Then, there’s another part of me that felt I earned it. Only I knew how hard  I worked to get this shot. The last six years, the thousands of miles in driving, thousands of dollars in debt, just to get find stagetime every week- to get to this point.  Not only that but staying true to myself, keeping my act original and doing it the way I wanted to- no matter how many times people told me to change it-when they would say things like-"Be more animated" or "Be Dirtier", "you have to be high-energy to be on TV." It just wasn't me.  I always knew that the really good comedians that I liked, had great material. That was my style-so  that's what I aspire to be- a comedian with good, original jokes.  So this was my first shot.  I was not going to blow it.   I was going to make the most of this opportunity. This was never the ultimate goal in my mind... it was just the first step.

The car service picked me and Kimmy up at 3p.m. My call time was 4:30.  It was so cool to have Kimmy there.  She’s almost seen it all in the last four years.  She’s sat in the back of the VFW shows in the middle of Pennsylvania, Elks clubs in West Virginia, dive bars, hotel lounges… all over the country. She’s been there. So I was glad that she could share this experience with me.  To show her that it wasn’t all just a waste of her time.

We arrived at CBS Studios, where they also tape “The Price Is Right” among many other shows. It’s first class all the way. We were escorted to my dressing room. Leather couches, satellite radio, TV, stocked refrigerator with every beverage…and this was just my dressing room.  The green room across the hall was a full bar with bartender, various food platters, desserts, anything you can think of.  Kathy Kinney, who played Mimi on the Drew Carey show, was performing on a sketch that night, so she was hanging out in there. I felt like I was in showbusiness!

I was brought down the hall for hair and makeup. These people had their work cut out for them. My hair was long and shaggy.  My only regret of this appearance was that I would definitely have gotten a haircut, but it was too short notice.  So they did what they could with my hair, then …for the makeup.  

For a guy as pale as me, they only use makeup so you don’t look shiny or sweaty.  I made a joke that it would be difficult to find a makeup pale enough to match my skin. The makeup guy said,”Well, there’s this other comedian, he’s even paler than you.” I said,”Jim Gaffigan, right.” He said, “Yeah, how did you know!”

I get back to my dressing room, and the wardrobe guy comes in. He asks if I need anything.  Well, I was wearing my outfit already, but part of me wanted to ask for a powder blue tuxedo or some type of red smoking jacket, just for kicks.  But instead I told him I would be wearing what I had on, along with the jacket on the door. He offered to steam the jacket, and I said,”Sure, why not!”

It was close to 4:30, and I got called out for my soundcheck and camera blocking. They just wanted me to come out to the studio, see where I was supposed to stand, and do a microphone check. This was actually the moment when it all started to sink in. This was the microphone, the studio, the lights…the place that I would be standing. And thankfully, it felt pretty familiar.

I have a belief that every choice you make in life is valuable, even if it ends up being a mistake.  Because that experience is what gets you to the next step.  The reason the studio felt so familiar is because of the five years I spent in television news as a  sports anchor.  I was on live TV in a studio like this (minus the audience) every single night.  I could see how someone not familiar with the lights, cameras, the atmosphere-  could be nervous and uncomfortable. I’ve heard many stories about comics and actors who “Freeze up,” their first time on TV.   This was the moment that I knew I would be fine.  That wasn’t going to be a problem.  Walking onto that studio felt very comforting.    

So now the waiting began. They were taping segments for different shows that night. First, the band “Van Hunt” performed. Then, they had an interview with Stanley Tucci, another with Kat Deeley the host of “So you Think you Can Dance.”  Then, it was finally my turn.  I was taken into another dressing room, closer to the studio. I waited for a few moments for them to call me in.  As I walked in, they gave me the microphone, I stood at the side of the stage. Just then, Craig Ferguson got up from his desk and ran over. He apologized for not coming by my dressing room earlier to meet me.  The schedule for the day was really busy.  He shook my hand and said,”The crowd is great, have fun!”

As he introduced me, I walked the two steps down, and stopped at the “X” taped on the floor as the crowd just erupted.  This was the only point I was a little in shock, because of the incredible applause and reaction. At first it was very flattery, but then as the applause went on, I started worrying about my time.  I didn’t want to have to cut anything short, so I looked at my watch and said jokingly, ”Thanks- I’m almost done.” As a way of saying thank you but that’s quite enough, let me get started.  From there it went smoothly.  People ask if there are applause signs at TV shows, the answer is yes, but they don’t use them during the comedians performances. While the crowds are usually really good for TV shows, you still have to earn the laughter and applause breaks.  The reaction in a TV studio is the opposite of a comedy club.  In a comedy club, people laugh pretty readily, but you really have to work hard to get an applause break.  In a TV studio, the crowd will go into an applause break a lot quicker than they will all break into genuine laughter. So for my set, the applause breaks are great- but I’m really proud of the  lines where they are laughing too hard to clap-- just genuine laughter.

After my set, I was told to stand in place,  Craig would not be coming over, so just wave.  I didn't go over my time, in fact I was right on the button. The monitors faded to black and it was over.  The audience gave me another big round of applause when the stage manager said my name, and I was taken back to the dressing room. 

As a person who is never completely satisfied with a performance, I felt it went very well. I did the jokes I wanted, they all got a great reaction and the whole set flowed smoothly. I felt good. I thanked everyone,  then Kimmy and I got into the car to head home.  I suddenly felt satisfied and tired at the same time.  My first tv appearance was over.  It was time to start working on the next one.

Thanks for Reading!

Paul Morrissey